The relationship between creativity and mental illness – a fascinating study based on writers from the prestigious Iowa Writers’ Workshop. Kurt Vonnegut was among the subjects. (via explore-blog)
I think about this a lot, as I suffer from panic disorder.
I went off my meds back in.. May? It was a stupid thing to do, but I felt that I could survive without them, and as much as I’m okay with being dependant on a prescription, I wasn’t going there without a fight.
Now that I’ve ‘levelled out’ and returned to my natural dips and dives (mostly dives these days), I can see with absolute clarity the ways in which my mental illness impacts my creativity. Art exploded out of me during those months I was separate from my illness. Now, most days are exhausting. To even think about trying to make something is to feel like a failure, because I know that I can’t. There’s a block. Everything is uphill. Choose your own shit metaphor, it’ll work. Creativity has become as chance as a sneeze.
Its really not surprising to me that even Kurt Vonnegut admitted to not being able to produce when he was low. I used to hold that stupid high-school-goth notion that you had to be depressed in order to create good works of art. What a load of melodramatic garbage.
I don’t know where I’m going with this, or why I’ve typed so much already. I haven’t had any coffee yet. Blah blah, etc.